As a full-time pastor for many years, talking with people to encourage or enlighten them with God’s Word is always a norm. Counseling is a norm because the occurrence of problems are normal as people normally encounter many sorts of problem. When it occurs that a pastor-missionary like myself, is trusted by a married couple or a single person with their problem, there must be prayer & counseling that will alleviate people from their difficult situation. When these people tell me their current relational problems and they seek help, they should receive help! And it is always a joy when I see positive results happening to them. Then after some time, you see smiles on their faces that silently says “Thank you for listening, for praying and for enlightening us. We are liberated!” God puts such joy in my heart during such scenario. People can be verbal and generous in their appreciations. That puts another smile on my face.
Now, let me tell you some of my discoveries along the way of my ministry years. May this be both informative and reflective as you read on.
Problematic People Should Not Be Forced To Seek Counseling
We are by nature quick to detect problems on other person’s lives. We have like an invisible radar machine that can distinguish such problems from faces and from words that fly around. Then we maybe are quick to judge or to be cynical without having to bother knowing the real thing of their problematic situation. Good-willed and concerned individual may emotionally jump over the problematic person and offer ways to help. Others maybe go right to comment and suggest what these problematic people should be doing, thinking, or saying. Other people will just simply say, “think positive” or suggest the mind-over-matter talks. Religious people may suggest with an altar-ego the quick fix of prayer or Bible reading. The carefree person may just recommend forgetting the problem and just move on (I’m thinking, is this approach a denial of the problem?).
These are just some of the ways people are forcing their way into the already problematic person! Sad. I’ve discovered that prayer counseling is more effective when the problematic person is the one who personally sought help. Yes, the effectiveness of prayer counseling is multiplied and maximized it the problematic person is the one who initiated the counseling sessions.
People Who Seek Counseling Should Receive Godly Counseling
Whenever I do prayer counseling to a individuals or couples (who happen to have diverse religious backgrounds), I say at the outset three important matters: [1] I am a pastor, [2] I quote biblical verses, and [3] I pray. If the counselee agrees and is comfortable with these provisional agreement (if I may call it that way), we continue on. Otherwise, if they are do not agree and is not comfortable with those, i say to them that I may not be the right person they are looking for. Happily, they were only a few who walked away. Funny, many of those who walked away changed their mind afterwards.
Those who agreed to my terms, have most benefited along the weeks and months of counseling sessions. I’ve discovered that godly prayer counseling invites God in the center of the discussion. Prayer & the Bible is utilized in wisdom. This is God-awareness. Moreover, godly prayer counseling involves the person or the couple responsible for whatever words or actions that are coming from them. This is presence of mind (or self-awareness). Combine the two (awareness of God and presence of mind), you will get a far reaching positive reactions among people and within situations. I rejoice at the sight of seeing people maximize these truths in their lives and see life-changing results.
Formal Seminary Training Is An Advantage
I am very grateful to God for giving me opportunities such ministry experiences and people who mentored me be who I am today. I am likewise that thankful to the formal training I received from the Asian Theological Seminary (ATS)! I think hundreds of thousands of brain cells died during those years. But I cannot I can “never” belittle the training, the encouragements, the fellowship, the wise words, and the smiles I received from the professors. This includes the understanding and the favors from the staff. For one, a counseling subject “The Study of Human Problems” took a hold of me. Thanks to Dr Sotto. I went curious and took elective counseling subjects (under Dr Sotto) aside from the subjects under my Pastoral Studies program.
I know that some people are adamant in the need for formal studies (That makes me sad). They say that seminary studies makes prideful people. That makes me sad because it can be true – but it is not generally true. My question is "Are prideful people only come from seminaries?" If the answer is “yes”, then seminaries are in many ways unhelpful and degenerative. Then again, the answer can likely be “yes” among other organizations or institutions as well. So they too are in many ways unhelpful and degenerative? (I hope this clarifies that there should be “no pointing of fingers”, a basic principle I always tell counselees). This can be problematic if this can be generally true. And happily, it is not!
From my experience, I am still awed and mesmerized as the five years of seminary studies went on. The most basic but profound truth I received (and is still basking on) was the discovery that the more I know of God, the bigger He becomes and reversely I become smaller. I was like in the experience of John the baptist (“He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30) or the amazement of King David (“When I consider your heavens, … the moon and the stars, … 4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” Psalm 8:3-4). The awe feeling and the truth encounters are just as amazing then as it is now –– or even greater! And to my amazement, the many better effect ripples to the way I do ministry like preaching and prayer counseling. Seminary training is more than just credential. It became a like a salt that thirsts me to drink more of God and more of His will and purpose over my life – and over other people’s lives as well. This is awesome!
Many other seminars and trainings about counseling and inner healing like that I attended with the NFS Foundation likewise helped in the way I do counseling ministry. I have Sir Wyden King and the rest of the guys there to thank for.
People Who Seek Counseling And Benefited From Counseling Should Form A Community
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| It's A Date #5 • Cubao, Quezon City • June 18, 2016 |
About four years ago, God has already put in my heart a vision of encouraging couples. The vision stayed in a corner of my heart. I occasionally thought and prayed about it. Until last year 2015, something monumental began in my life again happened. My prayer counseling ministry took a whole new level! More couples and even singles came seeking counsel. Many of them came outside the church ministry I am involved in. Prayer counseling is a norm inside of my church ministry. But the doubling of my prayer counselees outside of church ministry is astounding to me! I am happier because I can make God smile even more.
By the last quarter of 2015, I am fully aware that God is leading me in a path of helping more couples and their families towards a direction which in the second half of 2016 I phrased “discover flourishing family relationships”. I shared the vision to a couple in the church. The vision was caught. A community was born. And last February 2016, “It’s A Date” was launched! It became a monthly activity. One of it’s basic goal is to introduce couples to the truth that there is hope towards flourishing family relationships. Now, more and more couples are receiving the vision and realizing the hope.
I will share more of this in the next blog.
In review, we found out that:
- Problematic people should not be forced to seek counseling.
- People who seek counseling should receive godly counseling.
- Formal seminary training is an advantage.
- People who seek counseling and benefited from counseling should form a community.
Until next time :-)
